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[altusimperius]

tell him how pretty he is

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[armd]

(Patiently,) Do you think he's hot. Be honest.

[altusimperius]

Oh.

[A long pause. Then, haltingly,]

well. Yes, obviously.

[armd]

(A breath out,) Yeah. Obviously.

(Okay.)

Same.

[altusimperius]

It’s just—

[No, maybe it’s best not to say anything.]

[armd]

(Curiously,) Just what?

[altusimperius]

Well, he's...

[Terrifying. Best avoided for personal health reasons. Short.]

...we go back a bit, I guess you could say. [He quickly adds,] not like that.

[armd]

Ohh, okay. (You could say.) You gonna tell me more...?

[altusimperius]

I’d rather not, if I’m being honest.

[armd]

(pshh) You're no fun.

Fine: your turn.

[altusimperius]

Look, it’s just not a time I enjoy remembering—

[oh, his turn. hm.]

Kostos.

[armd]

Kostos?

Why?

[altusimperius]

I dunno. [He’s amused by her incredulity.]

Imagine being the person who makes him stop scowling.

…or scowl more.

[armd]

Huh. (That's– yeah. Okay.

She makes a non-committal noise.) I don't think anybody is gonna make him stop scowling though.

[altusimperius]

Doesn't mean it wouldn't be worth trying.

[At least if Kostos didn't seem to loathe him-- but to be fair, Kostos sort of seems to loathe most people.]

[armd]

Agree to disagree.

(And moving on,) Byerly. (She's saying this to mess with Benedict; we'll see what happens.)

[altusimperius]

[with terrible affront,] Oh, no.

[armd]

Don't you think he's got a kind of... hot dad appeal– (She rapidly loses composure as she says it, ending in burst of giggles.)

[altusimperius]

Ugh!! No!

[He pivots quickly to end his suffering.]

Jude.

[armd]

(Underneath his protests,) I think it's the moustache!

(Anyway.

After she's stopped laughing:) Sure.

[altusimperius]

Just “sure”? Have you seen Jude?

[armd]

Yeah, (obviously,) I just- don't think of him like that.

(He is friendzoned.)

[altusimperius]

Well that’s where you’ve got it wrong.

[armd]

Oh, uh huh. Wanna enlighten me?

[altusimperius]

Not thinking of him like that.

But if you've lost your mind, I understand. It happens to people sometimes.

[armd]

Wow, okay.

I haven't, he- (how to explain this,) is obviously hot, I have eyes. He helped me out with some stuff, that's all. We're friends.