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[altusimperius]

tell him how pretty he is

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[altusimperius]

This elicits an eyeroll; Kostos being involved isn't doing the story any favors.

"Petty piece of shit," he mutters, and sighs. "Well, I'm glad Athessa's all right."

It is a bit validating to know that his own experience, which he's downplayed in his mind since Leander theoretically made peace, may yet have been as nasty as he thought.

[keenly]

When Bene says that, something in Colin snaps. He picks up a pillow and starts beating the floor savagely with it, as if it's a truncheon and the floor is Leander's face. When that proves not-quite-satisfying, he places fingernails in the seam and tries to rip it open. Fortunately, thread isn't in the business of just snapping. Unfortunately, he drops the pillow and claws at the one thing he knows will respond the way he wants it to--his own face.

[altusimperius]

With a start, Benedict lurches forward to first take the pillow away (poor thing), then gently puts his hands on Colin's wrists to pull his fingers from his face.

"Colin! Colin, stop," he breathes, abruptly Very Concerned, "it's fine. She's fine."

[keenly]

Benedict will feel resistance as Colin fights him at first, the rushing in his head drowning out much of Benedict's voice. Fists clench as he remembers nails clawing into soil in an empty space where a house used to be.

He hadn't had a spell like this in months until Satinalia. They used to happen often. As he slowly recognizes what's happening, he reaches out to wrap his arms tightly around Benedict, clinging to him like a mooring.

[altusimperius]

This is spooky.

Holding him close, Bene has to take a moment to calm himself down as well, fully unused to either this behavior from Colin or filling the role of Emotional Support.

"It's all right," he says gently, not knowing what else to do.

[keenly]

It is all right. Athessa's all right. He keeps Bene in a crushing embrace as his breathing and heart rate slowly approach normal.

"It's 9:46," he mutters. This isn't a flashback, but he doesn't think it's strictly about current events, either. It feels dark and cold, it feels like the Circle when you didn't know who was your enemy. This place was just starting to feel safe.

After a while, he is relaxed against Bene, feeling tired and foggy.

"Thank you," he sighs.

[altusimperius]

Remaining silent until Colin speaks again, Bene just holds him until the 'thank you'-- then he nods into Colin's hair.
"Of course," he murmurs, and loosens his grip a little so he can look into his face.

"Should I light it...?" He asks, nodding his head toward the hookah, "you might feel better."

[keenly]

Colin nods mutely, not yet prepared to try to explain himself.

[altusimperius]

Benedict does so, using his fingers to light it as he always did before the magebane-- it's liberating, and never doesn't give him a flicker of joy when he's able to conjure in this way.

Once everything is set up, and the smoke coming smoothly through the hose, Benedict finishes testing it and offers it over to Colin, resting back on his elbows to watch him with an expression of concern.

[keenly]

Smoke inhaled, and soon Colin is lying back against the cushions and feeling a bit more himself. He even offers a little smile when he finally notices Bene's nervousness.

"Sorry," he says quietly. "Sometimes happens when I get upset."

He raises a hand to his face to feel for the tracks his nails left and see if anything needs healing.

[altusimperius]

"So it would seem." Maker's breath, Colin.

"You're really angry with him, then."

[keenly]

He nods a bit.

"And scared. I've already..."

The stifling feeling starts trying to come back, so he takes another pull of smoke.

"Already lost everyone I can afford to lose."

[altusimperius]

Bene arches his eyebrows.

"For all the shit he talks, I think he knows what he could expect to lose by killing anyone," he reasons, gesturing lightly as he makes his point, "I don't think he'll kill anyone. Not on purpose, at least. He's a rude bastard, but he's not a total idiot."

It takes one to know one, after all.

[keenly]

“He doesn’t have to intend to kill someone. If she’s broken her neck instead of her arm, it wouldn’t matter what he intended.”

[altusimperius]

"I know."

Bene falls silent for a moment, reaching for the hose as he contemplates the situation. He doesn't want to allow Leander any leeway, not after the run-ins they've had; but he doesn't want Colin to be upset, either.

"...but she didn't," he admits, "and people know about it now. I don't think he'll be allowed a chance to push someone else."

[keenly]

Colin releases the hose as Bene takes it.

"I know. I just, um."

He doesn't continue. He has no idea how to vocalize his feelings right now, and at the moment, he really doesn't want to hassle with the self-scrutiny for it. It all feels too close.

"I wanted you to know. He's got a way of making you think you're the one unfairly judging him, but he's dangerous."

[altusimperius]

Taking a pull, Benedict watches Colin quietly. Then, breathing out with a wince, he hands it back.

"I know." His lips purse as he reflects on the interactions he's had with Leander.

"I've tried to just... make myself stop caring what he thinks, or does. I have too much at stake to worry about pleasing him."

[keenly]

That's a familiar sentiment. Colin tries to piece it together again.

"You don't want to please him, you want to pacify him. So you're safe."

[altusimperius]

"Yeah." He purses his lips, tapping the nozzle against them.

"...I want him to leave me alone. ...I want him to leave all of us alone."

[keenly]

"You can't do that by pleasing him." He adjusts himself so one shoulder can press against Bene's. "Though the good news is I don't think he finds us especially interesting, nor is it in his best interests to just be violent now that he's known to have attacked two people unprovoked. One of whom is a division head."

[altusimperius]

"He attacked a division head? When?"

This must have been in the Dungeon Times.

[keenly]

"I'm not entirely clear on when, but I think it was long enough ago that Byerly wasn't a division head yet."

[altusimperius]

"Byerly?"

That's going to be a conversation, whether anyone likes it or not.

[keenly]

A nod, though Colin doesn't feel qualified to impart any more information about it.

"Just be careful. But don't be scared, either. I don't really think he'd admit to this if he was planning to keep pushing people down the stairs."

[altusimperius]

"I know." Puff.

"I'm not scared. And I try to be careful."


He hands the hose back, settling in with his fingers clasped over his chest.

"Just..." He chews his lower lip. "Makes you think. That's all."