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Jul. 26th, 2017 06:14 pm
altusimperius: (u love me)
[personal profile] altusimperius
tell him how pretty he is

Date: 2020-11-15 09:59 pm (UTC)
keenly: (but I knew it wasn't ever after)
From: [personal profile] keenly
Benedict will feel resistance as Colin fights him at first, the rushing in his head drowning out much of Benedict's voice. Fists clench as he remembers nails clawing into soil in an empty space where a house used to be.

He hadn't had a spell like this in months until Satinalia. They used to happen often. As he slowly recognizes what's happening, he reaches out to wrap his arms tightly around Benedict, clinging to him like a mooring.
Edited Date: 2020-11-15 10:00 pm (UTC)

Date: 2020-11-15 10:42 pm (UTC)
keenly: (it didn't steal your laughter)
From: [personal profile] keenly
It is all right. Athessa's all right. He keeps Bene in a crushing embrace as his breathing and heart rate slowly approach normal.

"It's 9:46," he mutters. This isn't a flashback, but he doesn't think it's strictly about current events, either. It feels dark and cold, it feels like the Circle when you didn't know who was your enemy. This place was just starting to feel safe.

After a while, he is relaxed against Bene, feeling tired and foggy.

"Thank you," he sighs.

Date: 2020-11-16 12:21 am (UTC)
keenly: (I would love to live by the sea)
From: [personal profile] keenly
Colin nods mutely, not yet prepared to try to explain himself.

Date: 2020-11-16 12:42 am (UTC)
keenly: (only a thought)
From: [personal profile] keenly
Smoke inhaled, and soon Colin is lying back against the cushions and feeling a bit more himself. He even offers a little smile when he finally notices Bene's nervousness.

"Sorry," he says quietly. "Sometimes happens when I get upset."

He raises a hand to his face to feel for the tracks his nails left and see if anything needs healing.

Date: 2020-11-16 12:49 am (UTC)
keenly: (mingling hands and mingling glances)
From: [personal profile] keenly
He nods a bit.

"And scared. I've already..."

The stifling feeling starts trying to come back, so he takes another pull of smoke.

"Already lost everyone I can afford to lose."

Date: 2020-11-16 01:08 am (UTC)
keenly: (mingling hands and mingling glances)
From: [personal profile] keenly
“He doesn’t have to intend to kill someone. If she’s broken her neck instead of her arm, it wouldn’t matter what he intended.”

Date: 2020-11-16 01:55 am (UTC)
keenly: (there I shall go singing)
From: [personal profile] keenly
Colin releases the hose as Bene takes it.

"I know. I just, um."

He doesn't continue. He has no idea how to vocalize his feelings right now, and at the moment, he really doesn't want to hassle with the self-scrutiny for it. It all feels too close.

"I wanted you to know. He's got a way of making you think you're the one unfairly judging him, but he's dangerous."
Edited Date: 2020-11-16 04:08 am (UTC)

Date: 2020-11-20 08:27 pm (UTC)
keenly: (only a thought)
From: [personal profile] keenly
That's a familiar sentiment. Colin tries to piece it together again.

"You don't want to please him, you want to pacify him. So you're safe."

Date: 2020-11-23 04:47 am (UTC)
keenly: (he measured everything)
From: [personal profile] keenly
"You can't do that by pleasing him." He adjusts himself so one shoulder can press against Bene's. "Though the good news is I don't think he finds us especially interesting, nor is it in his best interests to just be violent now that he's known to have attacked two people unprovoked. One of whom is a division head."

Date: 2020-11-25 03:02 am (UTC)
keenly: (we are god's hands)
From: [personal profile] keenly
"I'm not entirely clear on when, but I think it was long enough ago that Byerly wasn't a division head yet."

Date: 2020-11-25 04:10 am (UTC)
keenly: (of a five and a half minute hallway)
From: [personal profile] keenly
A nod, though Colin doesn't feel qualified to impart any more information about it.

"Just be careful. But don't be scared, either. I don't really think he'd admit to this if he was planning to keep pushing people down the stairs."

Date: 2020-11-25 05:04 am (UTC)
keenly: (mingling hands and mingling glances)
From: [personal profile] keenly
Colin takes the hose but doesn't puff right away, staring up at the ceiling and weighing how high he already is.

He's scared. But he's always scared. He has come to realize that he truly can't tell the difference between a real threat and an imagined one, but that hasn't eliminated the need to try. So he tries to work it out by looking at the facts. It's not the most reliable system--he'd told himself all sorts of things so he could ignore the warning signs with Lutair. He finally pops the hose in his mouth and inhales deeply.

"Makes me think too much," he admits with a sigh of smoke. "You know how when you were a kid, you knew there were dangers in the world, but you reckoned the world as a whole wasn't out to get you?"

Date: 2020-11-25 05:15 am (UTC)
keenly: (only a thought)
From: [personal profile] keenly
Colin meets his eyes and realizes he's missed his mark.

"Never mind. Let's talk about something else."

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