IC inbox

Jul. 26th, 2017 06:14 pm
altusimperius: (u love me)
[personal profile] altusimperius
tell him how pretty he is

Date: 2020-08-28 04:37 pm (UTC)
keenly: (only a thought)
From: [personal profile] keenly
"No." Another wince. "Sorry. Really. I'm so sorry. Um. I just, Lexie, Lexie's going to Antiva and it's the right thing but I sort of wish she wouldn't anyway?"

Date: 2020-08-28 05:24 pm (UTC)
keenly: (mingling hands and mingling glances)
From: [personal profile] keenly
Colin nods, looking glum. "Yes. I mean, not for good, just for a month or two. Trying to sort out her head about Byerly."

Date: 2020-08-28 05:40 pm (UTC)
keenly: (and I don't learn to buy)
From: [personal profile] keenly
A soft chuckle.

"I won't. I agree. They make each other miserable. I've never seen them come away from each other happy. It's...hard to see it. How he'd rather be miserable his whole life than be with her for a single second. She deserves better than that."

Date: 2020-08-28 05:47 pm (UTC)
keenly: (he measured everything)
From: [personal profile] keenly
"She's doing pretty well with Loki these days." Colin shrugs. "I never saw the appeal, but she's happy. Still. You're right. Byerly loves misery more than he'll ever love anyone."

There's a little bitterness in his voice.

Date: 2020-08-28 06:07 pm (UTC)
keenly: (that we're all okay)
From: [personal profile] keenly
"He's a martyr. In a pretty terrible way. I can't...I can't do that kind of friendship. I can't go to someone begging for them to keep being my friend because they've decided they are too hurt by my problems. I don't make friends easily, but I can't...I can't do that."

tw: mention of suicide attempt

Date: 2020-08-28 06:12 pm (UTC)
keenly: (I'll gather myself)
From: [personal profile] keenly
"I talked about that. Um. Though we were..." He makes a motion of smoking a joint. "Anyway. When I told him I tried to kill myself, he got really angry and said he'd never forgive anyone who tried to hurt me, not even me. That's why we're not friends anymore."

Date: 2020-08-28 06:19 pm (UTC)
keenly: (five more minutes and)
From: [personal profile] keenly
"We weren't really friends when it happened," Colin says with a shrug. "We hadn't even slept together. And you're...different, now."

Date: 2020-08-28 06:43 pm (UTC)
keenly: (he measured everything)
From: [personal profile] keenly
Colin never likes seeing that stare. His brow furrows a little.

"You're more thoughtful," he says. "I mean, you're still you, but a better version. Before, you wouldn't have stopped talking about yourself to ask me what's wrong." He hesitates. "I mean, sometimes...but you're more aware. And you seem to find it important to keep getting better. That's what makes someone a good person, is wanting to keep getting better. It can...feel? Sometimes? Like our friendship is a bit one-sided, but I think that's my fault. I don't really talk about things. I just make people make me talk about things, and that's...not good."

Date: 2020-08-28 08:19 pm (UTC)
keenly: (it would be)
From: [personal profile] keenly
It's very, very hard to argue with that. Benedict has sometimes been terrible. There's a reason they weren't friends until recently. But seeing the struggle, seeing the slow trudge toward change, has been heartbreakingly beautiful, even healing. Colin reaches out for Bene's hand, only to halt and change his mind, afraid it is too much affection.

"Most people like you don't get to this point," he says quietly. "I mean, rich people, nobles, all get taught somehow that the world owes them everything, and because they benefit from that way of thinking and acting, they don't change. You're changing. Not because you benefit from it, but because you care about how you affect other people. That's something."

Date: 2020-08-28 09:00 pm (UTC)
keenly: (we are god's hands)
From: [personal profile] keenly
"The only way you're going to make anything up to anyone is actions, not words. Anyone can say words. But being genuinely thoughtful? Making a real effort not because you're expecting absolution, but because that's the right thing to do. 'Cause trying to get peoples' forgiveness is still self-serving. That's why people wouldn't want to hear it."

Date: 2020-08-28 09:08 pm (UTC)
keenly: (where the wave of moonlight glosses)
From: [personal profile] keenly
Awwwwwww. Completely unable to resist, Colin reaches out to brush his fingers through those shiny locks.

"It could be worse. You were really unhappy before, weren't you?"

Date: 2020-08-28 09:12 pm (UTC)
keenly: (while my heart is a shield)
From: [personal profile] keenly
"I know." Just petting his hair now. "Maybe don't look at the whole road. Look at the next step."

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] keenly - Date: 2020-08-28 09:18 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] keenly - Date: 2020-08-28 09:45 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] keenly - Date: 2020-08-29 12:01 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] keenly - Date: 2020-08-29 12:38 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] keenly - Date: 2020-08-29 02:01 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] keenly - Date: 2020-08-29 02:15 am (UTC) - Expand

Profile

altusimperius: (Default)
altusimperius

August 2017

S M T W T F S
   12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Page Summary

Active Entries

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated May. 29th, 2025 06:31 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios